Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
