I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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