I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
