ugly people sure do ruin things
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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