No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
