woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
