I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
