I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
