Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
This baby is an asshole
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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