Pregnant stripper...not hot.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
