Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
