even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
