If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
