It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
