I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize