tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
