4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
