If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
40s are totally the cure
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
