So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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