I will die if light touches me.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
