you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize