K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
