idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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