if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
