Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
