Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
