Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
