just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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