wrigley field is MILF paradise
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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