okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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