Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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