In the future we'll all be gay
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
