well you can't waste a boner
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize