Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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