There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
