he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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