So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
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i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
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Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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