i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
