Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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