The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
