u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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