Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Randomize
