what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You are the jesus of drinking
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
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