yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
