You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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