Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
