There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
