You're my little dorito
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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