He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
