The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
