dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
