We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
