I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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