I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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