I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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